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Velda, I couldn’t agree with you more!

Doris Day has given this world so much. Her films and music have entertained us, her life has inspired many of us and her animal activism has motivated us. The one thing as fans that we can give her in return, is respect for her privacy.

I, like you, found this book to be an utter invasion of Doris’ privacy. It’s true; medical, legal and religious personnel are compelled not to disclose matters that relate to their patients, clients and parishioners. Any decent person would know the same holds true in the case of a secretary/friend, as Ms. Barothy considered herself. For Ms. Barothy to divulge the information that she did, I find an egregious betrayal both on a professional level and personal level.

Further, I think the promoting of this book as a “loving tribute” was not only a betrayal to Doris, but also a betrayal to her legion of fans. Many of us approached this work with “Doris Day optimism” and took it at face value that it would indeed be something that would pay tribute to this dear lady. Sadly, this was not the case, and I deeply regret having supported it on any level.

I can only hope and pray Doris never reads this book. To do so, in my opinion, would hurt her terribly–and that’s the last thing any decent fan would ever want to do to this remarkable woman!

Antonette, I agree with you completely. We’ve all been mislead as to the intent of this book. This is our way to warn other fans and to set the record straight.

Ms. Barothy deliberately used everyone for her own evil gain…she misled the fans thinking her book would be some kind of treat for them. Yet, all she did was make fools of the fans she manipulated, and hurt them in the same swoop. She has also hurt the lady we all admire. 
Her betrayal is about as low as one person can get.
When you look down at the bottom of the barrel, there you will find Ms. Barothy and her trashy book.
A loving tribute, she calls it. I do not think she knows what the words mean.

I can’t agree more. I have been looking at a lot of web pages today (should be doing the house work, but it’s not going anywhere)and adding comments about Ms. Barothy when and where I can, because she has spread herself around a lot. She has used every opportunity to plug her excuse for a book. She has used tribute sites and all manner of websites to manipulated stories so that she can to put a recommendation in about this book.

She has “played” the web forums and dropped little comments to entice people into her sordid little book and I am very cross at being “played” and I am very cross that she has let Doris Day down so badly. She certainly does not need or deserve to be treated in this manner.

A badly written attempt to make what little impact Miss Barothy had on Miss Day’s life seem bigger than it was… She is no fan, friend, or past trusted employee of Miss Day’s. Like this book, she is total rubbish. She was then NOT Miss Day’s heroine, protector or spiritual guide, nor IS she now a trusted friend. She is a sad reflection of what revenge and obsessive misguided “love” can do to a person.

Karen, Sheila and Roberta,
Thanks for your comments. This book is touching a raw nerve in the worst sense.
Invasion of privacy and betrayal are the key words here.

Right on, Velda. So well put, the key words in fact are invasion of privacy and betrayal.

I agree with all of you, I could never find the right words…like you do. Thankyou for being so marvalleous.MM

Hi Montserrat,
Thanks for your input.

I find the negative comments about this book ridiculous: they just scream of jealousy and envy. Someone said she shouldn’t have written this book without Doris’s knowledge and support. Hate to break it to you, but a celebrity is a public entity and there are plenty of unauthorized biographies and other books that have been published about movie stars. From what I understand, Ms. Barothy DID try to contact Doris about the book, but Doris chose not to respond. If she had, perhaps she might have had some input, but by not contacting the author, she either wasn’t concerned about what would be written or trusted Ms. Barothy to do a book that would show her in a positive but human light. These other “fans” obviously are on these forums in an organized protest to discredit Ms. Barothy’s book. I think they are trying to preserve Doris’s squeaky clean image and can’t face the fact that Doris wasn’t always “on”, that she made some mistakes (who hasn’t?) and that Ms. Barothy’s is an honest portrait of the star. People who say this book is “trash” obviously haven’t read it – it’s a straightforward look at 4 years of Doris’s life presented by a woman who unabashedly was a great admirer and helpmate. I would recommend “Day at a Time” to anyone and choose to ignore the naysayers’ agenda.

My earlier comment has been “waiting moderation” for several days. Does anyone monitor this blog? Why is there no contact info for the owner?

This is an answer to Rita. I monitor the comments and sometimes let them brew for a while until I find an appropriate answer. You sent a few earlier comments and they are quite similar to your posts on other forums. It’s not my intention to get into another big discussion about Mary Anne Barothy’s book, but, I will comment on some of your comments.
First of all I read the book so what I have to say is not hearsay. I thought that my post was clear enough about my feelings about the book, but, I guess, it was not.
You say that Doris is a public figure, so she’s fair game. What Doris does in the public sphere might be , but, in her home she is a private person and should be respected as such. Some of the details that Mary Anne reveals would embarass me and I’m younger than Doris.
One moment she flatters Doris and the next she puts her down about her mothering skills, relationships with men or with fans. I found Mary Anne to be very judgemental of Doris. Doris was living some of her most hellish moments; the death of her husband, the revelation about her finances, her son’s near tragic accident and she had to do a show which she didn’t even know about.
If Doris didn’t respond to Mary Anne’s calls about the book, it’s most probably because she didn’t want to lend too much credence to it.
With better writing, more emphasis on MAB’s own life,the Hollywood scene at that time in history and not gossipping about Doris’ private matters, this book would have been more palatable.
There, now you know my feelings about the book. Case closed.

Velda–your words are compelling, truthful and thought worthy.

First, I did not send any earlier comments to this forum, only the 2 above. Perhaps you think I am someone else. Second, DAY AT A TIME was a MEMOIR, and what happened when Ms. Barothy was working for Doris are HER experiences. The book did cover Hollywood at the time. There were instances when the author could have revealed names of people and she didn’t. And more emphasis on the author’s life? While I’m sure it was very interesting, this book was specifically about working for Doris Day. There is plenty in the book about the author’s early life in Indianapolis, and how she grew up loving Doris. Third, D. Kaufman’s upcoming book promises to reveal things that the fans don’t like — it’ll be interesting to see if they stalk him in cyberspace as they have Ms. Barothy.

Thanks Roberta for your kind words.

And this is for Rita. For everybody’s sanity let’s stop discussing Mary Anne’s book. It’s a done deal and it can’t be reversed, and I have nothing more to say about it.
About D. Kaufman’s book, I think it will be explosive. I really feel sorry that Doris’ peace will be disturbed again. He is a writer and ,obviously, he wants to make the book as exciting as possible. Hopefully, he’ll deal more with Doris’ impact as one of the greatest entertainers ever and minimize the private stuff. We can only hope.
I’ll give my opinion of the book once I have read it. Will he be “stalked in cyberspace”? Que Sera, Sera.